28 Comments
Jul 6, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

Hilarious, TOTALLY hilarious, about the BnBs. I can't top the flushing the toilet by waving your hand, but I've had experiences that come close. I just love your take on things --

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Long ago, right after 9/11 and the death of a beloved friend, I was having difficulty negotiating life around airports and airplanes. It got so bad that I would try to crouch in my car going over the GW Bridge or when speeding at 75 mph past Ikea on the NJ Turnpike.

My therapist recommended Xanax halfies for the days I felt most inclined ti dangerous behavior and a regimen for flying that went like this: 1 pill when packing, 1 pill in the car on the way to the airport, and 1/2 pill after boarding. Worked like a charm! Slept all the way to Paris and woke up when the plane was getting ready to land.

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Jun 5, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

This one is a prize winner. Made my day.

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joyce. Shit. Funny you should suggest your email. I just created my first Fast write for Substack as an email to you! Pour que? Your Charles de Gaulle , Paris, Cystitis , Ed Harris (one of the sexist men on planet earth) and other musings kicked my memoires of my time and lunacy in Paris 1971. Yup you were at fault ! I have more than marginal add and some dyslexia ergo my post whoop. Disappeared when I attempted to preview. Have done an autopsy on my lap top . NADA. It was about a 2 minute read. Remind of losing entire Shakespeare thesis. I did manage to retrieve. that's all for now. I will tackle again when not in mood to kick my window

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Jun 4, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

Another masterstroke of humorismo! I’m glad someone is pronouncing the gospel of cranberries. I’m sure the problem exists outside of The Village. Experience has taught me to avoid the juice; too dilute and full of sugar. Latter encourages yeast infection. UTI and yeast come in pairs. Those capsules of cranberry concentrate are equally useless. Buy a bag of fresh berries – organic to avoid pesticides. Chew and swallow two to five. They are bitter, but persevere. They will knock an incipient UTI flat. It does lead me to wonder if something that kills bacteria so handily in two inches of tubing may be destroying something else on the way down, but I’ll leave that question to the medical examiner.

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Joyce, I responded to you yesterday with a more in depth 😂 story of joie de vive in Paris 1972. I can’t find it ? Did you receive?>

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I was doubled over reading this one and finally decided to stop being cheap and subscribe -- you are a GENIUS!

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Jun 4, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

DO THEY ADD AN EXTRA CHARGE?

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Wholly merde ! I just glanced at your profile. Prolific, professional , humour plus and way over my blog grade. Appreciate your joining my page and read. Born and Raised in Bev Hills was created out of insistence of my son Dudley and daughter Erin. “mama you are a writer and need a passion other than Searay (not a boat albeit my husband and I have one) a black Labrador whose untimely cancer on his heart .. left me before aged 8. I was gutted. Guess he was in life my sage or instrument to tell short stories and share on Facebook. That ended as well as blog 3 years ago. I have, when in or out of mood written about more bitter subjects. Closer to the point . One of 6 girls (now women) film producer bi polar addict father. Elegant spoiled mother . Bhills Dudley’s. What looks fine on outside. You know the song. In our home it was loud, confusing and in its way a three ring festival 356 days. As for Paris. Maybe I’ll give it a wing. Never considered until today . Twas a short lived one. 3 weeks. Visiting one of my closest Marymount HS friends . She was renting in house 16 Jean Memoz. I became friendly with French group . The elite so to speak. I. Not so much but attractive enough with , I was told, a beautiful lean body, bold personality, finest manners. Held my own despite undercurrent. No self confidence . I was included in all. Regine. Castelle . Parties out of city in old mansions. Fabulous lunch’s in the Countryside. One of my regular dates became engaged , later married a famous princess. My friend flew back to LA to finalize her divorce. I remained wanting to continue and register for alliance Francais . After all wasn’t it perfect for a me? No direction, no university. I was raised to marry a RICH man. More later on that comedy. My friends husband appeared RICH. He was flying his private plane weekly to Mexico . Drugs aboard. One auspicious ride , she was aboard. Landing in LA greeted by the big ass dudes. FBI. He. Arrested. Went to fancy jail and played tennis. She bailed by famous hotelier. Her husband was the handsomest , six ft 5 jerk. He beat her silly. He had a giant “member 😂” unlike my half limp Paris gent. I know for he’d whip it out by their Bhills pool. Yuck. I’ll stick with medium. Long story ennui. My friend seeped into the bottle and bottles and more. She died 10 years ago. Not sure if I can say merci beaucoup for the memory. Well. Maybe I will. You made me do it. Jenn

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Jun 3, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

Pretty funny. Luckily I’m in Greece with none of those troubles--- at least not yet. Love your articles b

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Jun 3, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

I started to read this and was already laughing before I realized who wrote this. Then I saw it was, of course, you.

So good.

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Jun 3, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

I want to thank you for your anxiety on behalf of air travelers everywhere. It is only your nonstop fretting that keeps airplanes from plummeting out of the sky.

My favorite response to people who want me to switch seats so they can sit with their partner is “my astrologist told me that if I didn’t sit in this seat the plane was going to crash. So, no. But thanks for asking.” 😁

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YET. Another whip funny! Can always depend upon you to hit the high notes , cystitis, Ed Harris Cocktail (years and years of self med .... I now fly sober. 6th Arrondissement, I, 21 in friend apt 16th . Didn't get herbe's THEN, just bad sex with a married Parisian with a less then rigid . very small en francais penes.

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Jun 3, 2023Liked by Joyce Wadler

Exceptionally hilarious. So you you came back from your trip nice and rested.

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A work of comic genius. Now all a B&B owner has to do is figure out a way that you can only flush the toilet if you do it by pressing on the handle with a toasted, buttered baguette. That will get him or her an international award.

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Since I am 78 years old and have ability to look frail, I invariably request a wheelchair, esp at CDG where you are right, it is a marathon-length course (often replete with hills) from checkin to gate (and also allows you to jump the endless lines at immigration). But perhaps I should not be giving away my long-treasured secrets gratis? Well, if you feel the urge to recompense, subscribe (free!) to Andelman Unleashed .... https://daandelman.substack.com/

;-))

But bravo, Joyce for pointing ALL this out!!

d.

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