I believe I witnessed the very best walking-out-of-a-play story ever in the whole world. It was a David Mamet play in Boston. The opening was the usual for Mamet: all the words one is not supposed to say in mixed company. So after a string of these profanities, a man and I presume, his wife, stand to make their way to the end of the row and out of the theatre. As he stands, he says (the play has begun, remember, "I don't have to listen to this shit." This I found an hysterical remark from someone objecting to profanity.
"Sure, I would prefer something like the maps you can check on long flights, with the little plane showing how much time you have before you get to Paris. In this case, it would be an icon of me, with the amount of time before I get to Joe Allen, the theater hangout on 46th Street."
i don't know what your voice on the phone sounds like but your brain is wayyy seductive heh
SO many layers there i aint gonna touch it of course any music is welcome in this ummm quarter and a ham beating its own meat like i said silence is golden
My 4 year old son stood up in a crowded movie theater and dramatically bolted after loudly announcing "TIME TO GO." You could have scraped the audience off the floor. There may have been some clapping as I laughed and clumsily followed him out.
I agree with Lucian Truscott IV on this one -- My favorite line? "You fix your eyes on the stage and let your mind drift to things you'd rather be doing: Waiting on hold for Spectrum tech. Buying stool softener." I absolutely roared at that one! You've hit another home run, unlike (apparently) the musical version of "Days of Wine and Roses." Seems like that one struck out.
Ah...thanks for the memories! I’ve had a few “bib” experiences: before intermission bolt. At times, the $15 tickets as a member of TDF amounted to price gouging because the show really was that bad!
Oh, the memories. It is an unwritten rule that well known performers do not walk out of a play early.
When I was married to such a man (Ken Howard) he decided he was willing to break that rule as we walked out of Elizabeth Taylor in "The Little Foxes." She was simply terrible -- and he couldn't miss being recognized, being 6'6, blond, and a television personality.
As for dear Joe Allen - I loved that he both sounded and looked like Bogey.
Good for you, Joyce! Life is too short (and getting shorter) to sit through Purgatory. (But in Hadestown, I did wait till Intermission to wake my sleeping companions, and get the heck out of there).
2003, Vanessa Redgrave in "Long Days Journey into Night," with Brian Dennehy and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Four hours long. I'd bought tickets and invited Mallory Lane, a writer in from Paris, to come with me. Somewhere in the second act she said, "Enough? How about you?" And we got up, grabbed our coats, and went across 45th Street to a little actors' bar -- now just a rubble-strewn lot -- down a few steps and had a chin wag. I was stunned by Redgrave's one-woman performance in Joan Didion's "Year of Magical Thinking." But having time to sit, drink and talk to Mallory was far better than what was on stage that night. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't four-hours great either.
My most memorable walkout was when we took my then three- year- old granddaughter to see Beauty and The Beast. "It's time to go home now" she screamed, roughly two minutes after the beast appeared on stage. Sensibly, we made a beeline for the exit.
I believe I witnessed the very best walking-out-of-a-play story ever in the whole world. It was a David Mamet play in Boston. The opening was the usual for Mamet: all the words one is not supposed to say in mixed company. So after a string of these profanities, a man and I presume, his wife, stand to make their way to the end of the row and out of the theatre. As he stands, he says (the play has begun, remember, "I don't have to listen to this shit." This I found an hysterical remark from someone objecting to profanity.
Provence,
Conscience
I'm thinking the wine and roses librettist was not the one who came up with that.
PS-I walked out of a singles meet up of about six people after 15 minutes. I recall saying "this isn't working for me"
There are days when I wish with all my heart that I were Herb. Thanks, Joyce.
Therry,
Herb (Not his actual name) is the funniest man I know. Our late friend Cynthia Heimel gave him that name when she wrote about him, so he told me I might as well use it, too. Allow me to introduce you guys. https://grossbergerbulletin.substack.com/p/king-donald-the-third-try?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1907313&post_id=140599965&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=3sri9&utm_medium=email
- J.
Brilliant. I’m still laughing.
Thanks! Takes a tough man to make a tender Shakespeare send up!
"Sure, I would prefer something like the maps you can check on long flights, with the little plane showing how much time you have before you get to Paris. In this case, it would be an icon of me, with the amount of time before I get to Joe Allen, the theater hangout on 46th Street."
i don't know what your voice on the phone sounds like but your brain is wayyy seductive heh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2cXQUTorvc
Bacon ain't no chocolate.
SO many layers there i aint gonna touch it of course any music is welcome in this ummm quarter and a ham beating its own meat like i said silence is golden
Oh. I forgot to mention this wabs about 5 minutes into the film and after I had paid a lot of money for tickets, popcorn, soda and candy.
My 4 year old son stood up in a crowded movie theater and dramatically bolted after loudly announcing "TIME TO GO." You could have scraped the audience off the floor. There may have been some clapping as I laughed and clumsily followed him out.
I agree with Lucian Truscott IV on this one -- My favorite line? "You fix your eyes on the stage and let your mind drift to things you'd rather be doing: Waiting on hold for Spectrum tech. Buying stool softener." I absolutely roared at that one! You've hit another home run, unlike (apparently) the musical version of "Days of Wine and Roses." Seems like that one struck out.
Ah...thanks for the memories! I’ve had a few “bib” experiences: before intermission bolt. At times, the $15 tickets as a member of TDF amounted to price gouging because the show really was that bad!
Oh, the memories. It is an unwritten rule that well known performers do not walk out of a play early.
When I was married to such a man (Ken Howard) he decided he was willing to break that rule as we walked out of Elizabeth Taylor in "The Little Foxes." She was simply terrible -- and he couldn't miss being recognized, being 6'6, blond, and a television personality.
As for dear Joe Allen - I loved that he both sounded and looked like Bogey.
One of your best. I read lines out loud to Tracy and we laughed with unfettered delight.
Good for you, Joyce! Life is too short (and getting shorter) to sit through Purgatory. (But in Hadestown, I did wait till Intermission to wake my sleeping companions, and get the heck out of there).
2003, Vanessa Redgrave in "Long Days Journey into Night," with Brian Dennehy and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Four hours long. I'd bought tickets and invited Mallory Lane, a writer in from Paris, to come with me. Somewhere in the second act she said, "Enough? How about you?" And we got up, grabbed our coats, and went across 45th Street to a little actors' bar -- now just a rubble-strewn lot -- down a few steps and had a chin wag. I was stunned by Redgrave's one-woman performance in Joan Didion's "Year of Magical Thinking." But having time to sit, drink and talk to Mallory was far better than what was on stage that night. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't four-hours great either.
My most memorable walkout was when we took my then three- year- old granddaughter to see Beauty and The Beast. "It's time to go home now" she screamed, roughly two minutes after the beast appeared on stage. Sensibly, we made a beeline for the exit.