Please accept my apologies for the tardiness of this reply. Ever since the press got wind of my girlfriend's pregnancy with Pacino Bambino Numero Quatro the doorbell and phone have been ringing off the hook, you know, congratulatory messages and Pampers/Depends gift baskets. Alas, I keep getting interrupted.
I do, however, need to set the record straight vis-a-vis your Substack commentary:
The crane parked outside my building to which you alluded was not for the reason you intimated, rather, child # 3 (one of the twins but I can't remember which) has requested piano lessons and the elevator in our Greenwich Village apartment can barely accommodate a fold-up gurney and only when the paramedics take turns getting in, hence the spinet needed to be brought in through the window.
Sorry, can you hold please? Michael Douglas just stopped by with oysters.
Where was I? Ah yes, Helen Mirren. As for her potential (future) pregnancy, I wish her the best of luck (I loitered around YouTube for outtakes of her in "Calendar Girls" but the good parts were pixelated). It's not as if we didn't have our chance when I played Phil Spector in "Phil Spector" and she was my defense attorney. There's a suggestion, given my current 29-yr old companion, that I never dated "age appropriate" women, but the record ---Jill Clayburgh, Diane Keaton, Veruschka--will note otherwise. Still, ......damn!, hang on please, Hugh Hefner is calling from the Grotto (CGI, AI enhanced) with a special subscription deal....
Yes, Helen was one that got away.
Now about that Geezer Dad thing--on the surface it would seem I won't be around, but if we've learned anything from Dolly the Sheep, cloning--even beyond Artificial Intelligence--will be the next big thing and will even recreate more life-like.... hair, which....damn!, gotta take this call, it's Sofia Coppola, she can't stop apologizing for stinking up "Godfather 3."
Where was I? Ah yes, hair. I have been employing my own cocktail of Prevagen, Minoxidil, and Metrecal , I feel like a very svelte, (hairy) jellyfish with a woodie.
Damn! It's the doorbell.....
Listen, Joyce, the mailman just dropped off the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. My goodness! Martha Stewart is on the cover!
I'll be in the john for a while. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Perfect voices for each of your cast. Good one.
They call me constantly. What's a woman to do?
Write it down, which I see you are doing with alacrity.
From the desk of Al Pacino:
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
Palisades, NY 10964
Greenwich Village, NY 10003
Dear Ms, Wadler,
Please accept my apologies for the tardiness of this reply. Ever since the press got wind of my girlfriend's pregnancy with Pacino Bambino Numero Quatro the doorbell and phone have been ringing off the hook, you know, congratulatory messages and Pampers/Depends gift baskets. Alas, I keep getting interrupted.
I do, however, need to set the record straight vis-a-vis your Substack commentary:
The crane parked outside my building to which you alluded was not for the reason you intimated, rather, child # 3 (one of the twins but I can't remember which) has requested piano lessons and the elevator in our Greenwich Village apartment can barely accommodate a fold-up gurney and only when the paramedics take turns getting in, hence the spinet needed to be brought in through the window.
Sorry, can you hold please? Michael Douglas just stopped by with oysters.
Where was I? Ah yes, Helen Mirren. As for her potential (future) pregnancy, I wish her the best of luck (I loitered around YouTube for outtakes of her in "Calendar Girls" but the good parts were pixelated). It's not as if we didn't have our chance when I played Phil Spector in "Phil Spector" and she was my defense attorney. There's a suggestion, given my current 29-yr old companion, that I never dated "age appropriate" women, but the record ---Jill Clayburgh, Diane Keaton, Veruschka--will note otherwise. Still, ......damn!, hang on please, Hugh Hefner is calling from the Grotto (CGI, AI enhanced) with a special subscription deal....
Yes, Helen was one that got away.
Now about that Geezer Dad thing--on the surface it would seem I won't be around, but if we've learned anything from Dolly the Sheep, cloning--even beyond Artificial Intelligence--will be the next big thing and will even recreate more life-like.... hair, which....damn!, gotta take this call, it's Sofia Coppola, she can't stop apologizing for stinking up "Godfather 3."
Where was I? Ah yes, hair. I have been employing my own cocktail of Prevagen, Minoxidil, and Metrecal , I feel like a very svelte, (hairy) jellyfish with a woodie.
Damn! It's the doorbell.....
Listen, Joyce, the mailman just dropped off the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. My goodness! Martha Stewart is on the cover!
I'll be in the john for a while. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
My very best wishes,
Al
Perfect!
Frankly my dear I’d rather harbour Helen Mirren's baby ..